nut hugger
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize