Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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