They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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