Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
