i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
