The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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