"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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