My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
