Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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