i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
