Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
