The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize