Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
