Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
