any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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