OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
