is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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