she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just got carded by a ten year old.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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