i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
