so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize