At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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