was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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