I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
