i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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