If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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