I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
