Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
