end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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