I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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