Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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