K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
