bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you never un-have a 4some
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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