i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
