Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize