you have to choose: penises or morals?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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