"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
