idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
