so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
