And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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