The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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