everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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