Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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