took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
