Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
