Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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