she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
