She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As shirtless as possible
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
