you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
