He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
