i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
