All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
