Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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