at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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