Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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