He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
