Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
